I guess to answer the question:
- I am not a fan of confrontation. Then again, who really is (unless they're drama seekers)?
- I hate making decisions. Especially the hard ones. I don't even like deciding what to have for lunch on most days.
- Lack of proper communication skills. I often trip up on ways to communicate my general disdain for something.
- Fear... of failure, I guess.
Thankfully, I don't get violent, but I completely and utterly understand first hand that words can sting to the depths of your being and leave a scar for a lifetime. Before I started this trend of blowing up at my loved ones, I kept quiet about everything. Anything that bothered me was kept to myself. I don't recommend anyone doing this, as it is extremely self-destructing. Thinking about it now, I can surely say that this might be the start of my issue. Instead of defending myself in certain situations, I would just sit back and let whatever was said, be said. Once that phase passed and I got a little older and probably at my breaking point, I exploded. Anything said to me that was seen as problematic from my point of view received a quick, but thorough retort. As my beau says, I am a "ticking time bomb". From my younger years until now, there was no real middle point for me. I went from one extreme (meek, quiet, docile, etc.) to the next (angry, abrupt, etc) with maybe a slight glance at an in-between (calm, thoughtful problem solver).
I guess problem solving is a skill I will have to learn. I'm sure it's not too late.
~ No one person is perfect. This post was more of a self-realization medium for me. It has shed light on some things I need to work on in life, which is the point of the article in which this concept is taken from. I am still very much a work in progress. This blog is my outlet. ~